


Hello, Sweetie!

by TaleasOldasTimeandSpace



Series: Yet Another Gratuitously Fluffy Darcyland Soulmate AU [5]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Darcyland, F/M, SHIP DARCY WITH ALL THE THINGS, ShieldShock - Freeform, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Steve is an innocent traumatized marshmallow, Steve knows to JUST SAY NO to Tony, and Darcy will rescue him, but he hasn't quite figured out that Clint makes Bad Plans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-27 04:45:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7603921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaleasOldasTimeandSpace/pseuds/TaleasOldasTimeandSpace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Let's go to a bar, Clint said.  It'll be fun, Clint said.<br/>Clint is a liar.<br/>Or, Steve is in distress and Darcy comes to his rescue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hello, Sweetie!

**Author's Note:**

> Another one for [OvereducatedAndOverworked](http://archiveofourown.org/users/OvereducatedAndOverworked), who provided the scenario.

It was at times like these that Steve _really_ missed the ability to get drunk.

He squirmed uncomfortably on his barstool, trying to put as much distance between himself and the… _clingy_ …blonde as possible.  It wasn’t much.  He was already practically falling off his stool, and she took up more of the seat than he did.  She toyed with the buttons on his shirt and fluttered her eyelashes at him while he desperately concentrated on not hyperventilating.  He hadn’t thought it was still possible to have an asthma attack, but it was starting to look like an episode was inevitable.  Hands flailing awkwardly— _what was he supposed to_ do _with his hands?!_ —he glared at Clint over the dame…girl… _woman’s_ shoulder.  This was all Clint’s fault, anyway.

Clint grinned back unrepentantly, hiding a chuckle behind his drink.  Steve swallowed a groan.  Why exactly had he thought going to a bar with Clint was a good idea, anyway?  As he recalled, Clint’s reasoning had been something along the lines of ‘C’mon, Steve.  It’ll be good for you to get out of the Tower for something other than saving the world.  Hang out, meet new people, relax!’

Well, it _sounded_ reasonable enough at the time.  But having a lapful of gorgeous dame…woman…female wasn’t exactly relaxing.  Nope, dealing with Chitauri invaders was _much_ less nerve-wracking, thank you very much.

He was staring sourly at the bar, wondering if beating his head against the wood would help him achieve oblivion where alcohol had failed him, when his vision was filled with dark brown curls.  The dame…female…person was unceremoniously shoved out of his lap, somebody said _‘Hello, Sweetie!’_ and he caught a brief flash of bright blue eyes before he was suddenly—and thoroughly—kissed.  All thoughts of asthma and oblivion were effectively silenced as his hands instinctively found the new dame’s waist.

After a—long?  Short?  _Extremely pleasant_ —moment, she broke the kiss, wrapping her arms around his bicep and grinning up at him.  _‘Sorry I’m late, traffic was murder._ ’  She winked.  _‘I hope you didn’t think I’d forgotten our anniversary!’_   Her eyes slid to the blonde, as if just realizing she was there.  _‘Oh, I see you’re making friends.  You’re such a sweetheart!’_   Turning to the blonde, she remarked, ‘Thank you so much for keeping my boyfriend company.  He gets lonely without me.’  The warmth she had used to address him had completely bled away.  She was friendly, but it was the same kind of friendliness Colonel Phillips displayed when interrogating Hydra soldiers.

He had only sat in on one of those interrogations once.  Colonel Phillips was by _far_ scarier than the Red Skull.

The blonde slipped away with a muttered excuse, and his rescuer stepped back, patting his should companionably.  ‘Sorry about that, buddy.  You looked like you needed the save, and I can’t stand to see helpless creatures suffering.  And _you—’_ she rounded on Clint, who was laughing so hard he could barely stay on his barstool.  ‘How could you throw this poor, innocent lamb to the wolves like that?’  Clint wheezed, but didn’t answer.  She slapped the back of his head.  ‘It’s not funny, Clint!  Look at this traumatized marshmallow!’  She waved a hand at Steve for emphasis.  He was pretty sure he should be offended, but his only coherent thoughts at the moment were _soulmate_ and _wow!_

‘Darcy,’ Clint finally gasped, ‘that poor, traumatized marshmallow lamb of yours is Steve Rogers.  You just snogged Captain America!’

His saviour…dame…soulmate… _Darcy_ gaped, looking back and forth between him and Clint.  ‘How…Captain…I…huh?’

The synapses that were still firing properly were demanding _What snog?  How snog?_ and perhaps most importantly, _That’s nothing like fondue, is it?_   She was still staring at him in shock, and he felt his lips twitch involuntarily into a lopsided grin.  _‘Well, ma’am, I certainly wouldn’t complain if you wanted to snog me again.’_   Huh.  It was like he opened his mouth and Bucky came out.  And Tony claimed he didn’t know how to talk to women.

As she blinked at him, mouth working soundlessly, the smug satisfaction of a line smoothly delivered drained away.

_Oh great.  Brilliant, Rogers!  It_ is _like fondue, and you’ve just managed to embarrass yourself_ again—

She nodded sharply.  ‘Don’t mind if I do,’ she said, and grabbed his head, pressing her lips firmly against his.

_Oh good,_ he thought distantly.  _I was right the first time._

Clint’s hysterical laughter caused her to pull away again, and she glared at him.  ‘Get lost, Barton.  We’re having a moment here.’

Steve nodded intelligently.  ‘Yes.  Moment.  We are having.  Here.’  He sucked in a deep breath before meeting his soulmate’s—Darcy’s—eyes.  ‘Can I buy you a drink?’

She grinned.  ‘I thought you’d never ask, soldier.’

 

* * *

 

It wasn’t until they were leaving the bar that they remembered Clint.  They found him in a dark corner booth, surrounded by beer bottles and muttering darkly about Budapest.

Darcy patted Steve’s arm reassuringly.  ‘Don’t worry, this always happens after he goes over four drinks.  I got it covered.’  She pulled out her phone and dialed.

_‘Darcy.’_

‘Hey Nat, it’s Clint.’

There was a sigh.  _‘What’s he done_ now _?’_

‘Nothing yet, but I need you to come and get him before that changes.  We’re at the Dark Forest Pub, and he’s had about three too many.’

Another sigh.  _‘Of course he has, the idiot.  That makes the second time this_ week. _I’ll be there in five.’_

Darcy stuck the phone back in her pocket.  ‘See?  All taken care of.  Trust me, when he gets like this, the only sane thing to do is call Nat and let _her_ handle it.’  She stretched up to kiss his cheek.  ‘And now you know not to go to bars with Hawkeye without me to protect you.’

He slung an arm around her shoulders and dropped a kiss on her hair.  ‘My hero.’

She laced her fingers with his.  'You betcha.'

'You know, for the life of me I could never understand why it sounded like we were already in love when we hadn't even met.  It figures that you would save me from an awkward situation.'

'Hey, somebody's gotta look out for you damsels in distress.'

**Author's Note:**

> Steve is a precious cinnamon roll who must be protected at all costs. And Clint is a Bad Influence. But as Darcy likes to say, her mission is to save Steve so that he can save the world.
> 
> Thanks again to OvereducatedAndOverworked. I had fun with this :)
> 
> I invite you to scatter prompts like flower petals in the comments or on [tumblr](https://taleasoldastime-andspace.tumblr.com/). Namarie!


End file.
